Best senior jokes. Old Age Jokes

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The Indignities Of Growing Old ~ The Best Senior Jokes!

best senior jokes

When I woke up, my pillow was gone. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there. Fortunately, there are many sites that offer just that. The older man was tired, and he told the lawyer he only wanted to sleep. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a. Many of the jokes are aimed at seniors.

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Over the Hill, Getting Old, Senior Citizen Humor

best senior jokes

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. Don't do a single thing until I get there. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice - picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

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Clean Senior Citizen Jokes & Cartoons

best senior jokes

Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me? She puts her foot in and pauses. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. The manager then goes on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. I asked you to write it down because I knew you would forget the biscuits! What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? We had no Crest with Fluoride, We had no Hill Street Blues, We all wore superstructure bras Designed by Howard Hughes. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. When you getta out, Imma onna the left.

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Clean Senior Citizen Jokes & Cartoons

best senior jokes

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30. Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

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The 9 Best Dirty Jokes of All Time

best senior jokes

Thought for the day: If you woke up breathing, congratulations! An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. So with fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. We hadn't seen enough of jets To talk about the lag, And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.


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The 9 Best Dirty Jokes of All Time

best senior jokes

Needle a little love right now. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team! She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. I flushed it just in case I had And sat down just in case I'd not. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Man I tell you, she is one fine looking piece of ass! My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

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Best Jokes This Week: Best Jokes for Seniors

best senior jokes

Three retirees, each with a hearing! You hear your favorite song in an elevator. She is all excited, she loves her phone and he explains all the features on the phone. My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. Witha you elbow, ringa my doorbell. Miraculously, surrounded by moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.

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Great Senior Citizen Jokes

best senior jokes

You think humor must be good for your body, exercise and diets haven't worked well. Additional Websites for Your Laughing Pleasure This is just a sampling of the many funny senior citizen sites online. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas. What do retirees call a long lunch? He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. What walks upstairs backward and comes downstairs forward? The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. The Italian Grandmother An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

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